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Ask The Fetus First

 

Junica;

Milencio;

Samoya;

Anterliz;

Christine Joyce Anne Maria;

John Patrick Juan  Miguel;

Aisheeri;

 

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

I know. parents have all the right to give their children the names that tickle their fancy. But must the children suffer? Must the parents choose the smelliest sounding names for their children so that they could see them grow up hating the mere act of wearing their name tags?

Times have changed, people. A name is NOT JUST a name. In your time Virgatinia may sound heavenly but today, it sounds like shiz. And if your reason is that you wanted to BE ORIGINAL or unique, think again. Many kids would rather pay to get names like Caroline or Michelle than bear the consequences of having a foul-smelling Gorgonyita or Otinyano.

Why am I even talking about this? Well, I just wanted to help the countless Henriquitos and Justinianas out there to voice out what they really feel. I mean, I’m really not that happy with my name either. And I didn’t even know what it meant until recently – I had to be the major butt-of the-joke the whole week when friends discovered it accidentally.

You see, one fine day, Michelle just suddenly had the urge to know the story behind my name. She thought there was something fishy about it.

And then, unfortunately, they discovered it. Since they knew that I’m a ‘fourth-of-Julyer’, they counted nine months backwards – to the supposed sperm cell meet egg cell period. That’s OCTOBER. Checking for important October events, they got the Leyte Landing.

Now, don’t tell me that you still don’t get it because I swear I’m gonna hit you in the face!

Anyways, that’s not the real point of this blog, I was just sharing.

Okay, so the couple next door is Jonathan and Linda. Trying to be witty, they named their first-born Linjon. They were blessed with another boy a few years later. So, trying to be witty again, they named him Jonlin. I was like, What the FUCK? Honestly, I really half-expected that their next son would be Jonlinjon and their fourth Linjonlin. Luckily, they got a girl. So they named her Jonlee. Witty, ei?

The couple next next door had another thing in mind. They thought that the more names their children have, the more classy their family would be.

Their first son is Adam Floyd Richard Christopher
Their second son is Joshua James Ian Christopher
Their first daughter is Elizabeth Mariz Christa Jane

Then they enrolled all three in a private school. Cool, ei?

Wait.

All three , by the end of their first grade, couldn’t write their entire names correctly. So, the parents spent thousands of bucks to have the names changed. Now, son A is just Adam, son B is just Ian and daughter A is just Jane. Tsk tsk tsk..

And yeah, my cousin’s name is Jerk Hikel. For real. What kind of name is that? If his parents hadn’t parted ways, I bet they’d name Hikel’s younger sister Bullshit Veronica.

So what am I tying to say?

Simply, MOMS, DADS and future moms and dads, please choose a good name for your children. Don’t think that KAHLIL ABDIR would sound good on a boy with a flat nose coz it wouldn’t. And don’t freaking name your girl Tiny or Baby or Princess like she wouldn’t grow up.

Be on the safe side and don’t try to stand out. If you can’t help it, ask the fetus first.

Ok?

26 responses to “Ask The Fetus First

  1. bev November 15, 2008 at 2:25 pm

    i love this article! well done!
    you see, my fiance and i are getting married next year and i know we’d reach that stage of having babies and what you have here in your blog enlightened me to my old belief from naming my future sons and daughters unique names everyone would remember-thinking of it selfishly for myself which is not a good idea! thanks!

  2. annpeace December 31, 2008 at 10:44 pm

    wahehehe… that’s funny… at least no more Boy, Rene, Bebe and the likes…

    if i were to become a parent, i’d like to name the child with a cebuano word so that wherever he or she will go in the world, he or she will be identified… but it should be a nice cebuano word though… er… Kalinaw? hehe…

  3. CMae January 13, 2009 at 3:34 am

    Well, I’ve been browsing your blogs since it was introduced to me last week and to say the least, I’m VERY impressed! In fact, I’ve been restraining** myself from posting any comment UNTIL I’ve come upon this one.LOL :-D Why, my nickname is “Baby Girl” and everyone who knows me in our place/town/city (plus all my relatives all over the Phils and abroad) calls me that name! NO wonder my 30-month old niece always tells this to my Tatay everytime he calls her “Baby Girl” : “Baby Aisha ko oi..tua sa Cebu si Baby Girl!”. Little did she know nga baby girl sad diay cya!bwehehe.. Good thing it’s only a nickname! :-P

    **Dili ko nahan mo-comment kay lisud na ig mahinayak — maka-adik! Anyways, puslan man, ako nlng tingbun (overall comments): nice pics (pang pro jud!), kewl/witty captions and very, very informative posts! Keep up the good work and God bless you, pal! I’ll constantly check your blog out, but magpahipi lng tahay kos kilid (pa-shy effect, waaah!).

  4. lesharmels January 14, 2009 at 5:13 pm

    Don’t worry Ley, i won’t be putting my twins to shame with the names i will be giving them. = )

    Madie

  5. lesharmels January 14, 2009 at 6:13 pm

    secret sa ley ha…naa man gud pamahion akong bana diri na unya na isulti ang ngalan inig naa na ang babies.

  6. Koko January 20, 2009 at 10:03 am

    bwahahahahaha….mabuang jud ko ani!! akong uncle has 8 kids and with 3 names each!!! as in dili jud sya kamemorize!!! he has a list sa names sa iyang kids inside his wallet all the time! maayo man sad hinoon kay mubaga ang wallet-making it look like you have lots of bills! hehehe… my 3 bros and i also has names na with konrad attached to it coz our dad is conrado-as in my mom gets confused all the time esp in school. she always clarifies it with “which konrad”?
    Hey moms and daddy’s and parents 2b: maluoy sad tawn mo namo bi! hehehe…

  7. joy January 30, 2009 at 2:28 pm

    wala na siguroy lain pa nga makaluluoy sa akong kahimtang….
    sa tanan tanan nga ngalan, ngano man jud nga gisunod ko sa bulak.
    unsay bisaya sa gumamela?
    antuwanga dba…
    pagkasakit sa akong dughan……..

  8. mardie c",) January 30, 2009 at 3:53 pm

    LOLZ. let this be a lesson for soon-to-be parent/parents. our name should be the most beautiful name of all pero kung naa pod kay pangalan nga di man gani ma-spell or ma-pronounce lisod na kaayo. ang akong igsoon originally upat ang pangalan (bren bucyrus erie jesus) pero kani laging di maigo sa 1/4 sheet of paper kada test sa eskwelahan and first two ra ang masud. pagdako intawon niya nagkaproblema legally so gipapas ang last two. traumatic pod baya bitaw na sa usa ka bata ang magka-pangalan nga wa diri wa didto hilabi na kung ang bata is trying to fit in with his/her peers. this is a very good post, makalingaw pa gyud ang mga comments….ehehehe

  9. Vercessa August 16, 2009 at 12:18 am

    its more than a year since i browse your page, yet karon rko kabasa ani.. this is interesting yes.. but then.,,, Why???1??.. i didn’t realized that my name was bad.. not until i read this page.. Special mention jud.. but i embrace it with all heart and acceptance anyway :)

  10. Vercessa August 16, 2009 at 12:21 am

    asta pud diay sa akong lolo, na apil pud.. hehe.. my family commits the wrong naming of children

  11. janz August 27, 2009 at 2:35 am

    As in daghan jud na nga hit nga names ani nga story..Ako hubby ky jherk sad ang pangan pero ingon pa niya bisag naa pay “h” mao ra gihapon ig basa..grade 2 na tawn xa nakahibaw sa meaning sa iya name, pagka looy hehehehe… iya daw auntie nag pili sa iya name, i dont think wla kahibaw iya auntie og parents unsay meaning sa jerk since mga professional baya sila and neither should i think that they don’t love him..if dili palang daw hasol og gasto ang magpa change og name, nagpa change na xa..i suggested him to use, jherik nalang since its closer and mag add lang og one letter in betweek r and k..pero wla na xay mahimo, anywys its not commonly used word man sad diri sa phils so ok nalang, heeheheh….

  12. marv October 15, 2009 at 2:05 pm

    hehehe..lingaw sd ni dah..first time ko naka basa ani nga blog first gi visit nko katong post about sa Toledo city kay lumad mn ko nga taga toledo…I’m a father w/ 1 son and named him after his grandfather(father of my wife)…being my wife has the says then I just follow para wla nay gubot.hehehe

  13. sheila February 18, 2010 at 5:50 am

    hallo…love your photos and your blogs! keep it up.

    cannot help bt laugh.

    thanks for making my day

  14. sheila March 4, 2010 at 5:24 am

    hello again leylander…..this is the second time i read your “binutbot” and again it brings a smile on my face….

    can i post your “Ask the Fetus First” with the proper acknowledgement of course, in my FB? i want to share it with my teacher friends in Lahug Elem.

    thank you very much and i hope you will post more pictures about cebu.

  15. Charm July 5, 2010 at 12:59 pm

    This is the first I’ve visited your blog. A friend recommended it to me and I really couldn’t help but laugh. You see, I have the same experience. I remember my daycare days were so difficult for me because while my classmates were done with their exams, I was still half-way writing my name.T^T And all through out my primary and secondary education, most of the teachers often mispronounced my name or mistook it for a guy’s name… ahh… that was very troublesome for me.

    I did complain to my mother about it that she explained the whole thing to me why I was named after the First Roman Emperor + Joy. Well, I don’t hate my name. But it would have been much easier if they named me ‘Charm’ from the very beginning (since I am known as ‘Charm’ in the society).

    Thanks for this article.XD

  16. sweet grace October 15, 2010 at 9:34 am

    i super love your blogs….makalingaw jud. pa share sir sa fb ha? thanks

  17. isabela February 12, 2011 at 2:09 pm

    omg! this is too funny! once, i was at the store and on the next aisle was a dad yelling at his son: vlad! vlad! vladimir! then vladimir emerges and like you said, kids with flat nose, etc. well this one takes the prize – bisaya kaayo ug nawong hehehe.

    then one of the kids i know his name is denzel. trust me, he is nowhere close to denzel washington and this kid is bisaya pod kaayong nawong.

    i guess when the kid grows up and is the butt of all the jokes he can simply have an alter ego. di ba? or change his/her name na lang. i would.

  18. BalutPinoy February 14, 2011 at 12:30 pm

    Mao lagi nang atong ginikanan sa una ba tingali naglisud pud na sila ug hatag ug pangalan oi. Ako bitaw pud kay combination man pud sa ngalan sa akong daddy ug mama. Wa ko ganahi sa akong ngalan kay walay maka pronounce sakto. Akong miga nag-ingon na unsaon na lang ug ang pangalan sa inahan kay Conception unya ang amahan kay Dominador. Lisud ug kombinasyon kay Condom ang mahimong ngalan sa bata. Ambot oi!

  19. RJean April 18, 2011 at 3:04 am

    hala! kaila man ko anang Jerk Hikel..i think xa ra jud say naai in-ana nga name. haha… anyway, choi kaau imong blog, karon pa ko kita pero maka-adik na.hehe. Keep it up!

  20. Galileo Encabo September 21, 2012 at 8:09 pm

    I’m an international recruiter based on the other side of the Pacific. I got a big huge kick out of this blog!!!! When I read the names of our recruits, I get to thinking: “What were their parents thinking when they named their baby?” As they say, “The fault of the parents are endured by their children.” BTW, nice blog!!!!

  21. Maria Clai September 28, 2012 at 1:45 pm

    HAHAHA! Ka cute ani oy. What if ba mutubag sad jud ang fetus! HAHAHAHA! BTW, 2 thumbs up! :)

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